More Procratina-

Spots! Cats! Leopards! Lee School Leopards! Red shirts and spirit days in an elementary school with classes winning a giant stuffed cat. My first bee sting, a slap to the head and a welt to the hand. a grown distaste for soccer. Beer and Pubs! British folk and their football. an asterisk on the flag. waving proudly, freely, blue and redly. is it because of the wind or because of the it just likes to move? moving! man, Minnesota, Connecticut, California, Arizona, California AGAIN, Wisconsin, Arizona AGAIN, Wisconsin AGAIN! cheese heads. headzies, the head. Apply directly to the Forehead! Head on? Head on to the next adventure. swords and dragons, red ones though, no other colors are allowed. Red Dragons purple crystals, magic stones, reflected light through colored prisms. Pleochroic! The word that symbolizes the changing of a stones color when viewed from various viewpoints! sounds magical, like prisms. Pink Floyd! Dark Side of the Moon. Money and cash registers coming from old ladys riding rickety bicycles in Kansas. Kansas, Elvis Presley, no wait, thats Kentucky... or is it? No! Tennessee! That's it. Nashville. Sounds like a superhero name, Nash Savage! Max Pain. slowing down time. Time, clocks. That painting with melting clocks. a warped world melting before your eyes, like the Scream Painting! Reminds me of Van Gough. Cut off his ear, but saw color is ways no one else ever did. Paintings were worth shit when he lived. He was despised and hated in his town during his time. Like Lincoln! Lincoln was the most hated man in the country during his presidency. 8 feet tall. Wicked beard. Stove-pipe hat too. Hats were very important! You ever wonder why hats disappeared? Man had to have a hat before he walked outside back in the day, seemed to stop around the 50's was it the hippies? Wait, when was shampoo invented? Maybe thats why people stopped wearing hats cause they no longer had to hide their greasy hair. was shampoo invented for hippies, or by hippies? wait, gotta google this. Aha, Wiki says Shampoo dates back to 1762. But Wasnt introduced to britain till the 19th century, but really this early "shampoo" is more "Soap" as it doesnt nourish the hair or make it look better. It does say though that the shampoo as we think of it wasnt invented until the early 20th century; 1930 to be exact. Fancy that. 20 - 30 years after the invention of shampoo Hats went out of style. About 1 Generation of people. I think we've found the missing link here! Its too coincidental! Just like things don't happen by accident. Reminds me of Sherlock Holmes. You see a car accident, but Holmes see's a smudge of dirt in the tire treads that traces back to the jeep getting damaged axles on a 4 wheeled expedition in the mountains about 4 days ago based on its composition and moisture evaporation. Moisture, moisture, moisture, moisture, moisture, moisture, moisture, M     O     I     S      T      U     R    E. Starts sounding erotic without even trying. Squish. "Ah! Its stained! Quick get some vodka and lemon juice!" "to get the stain out?" "NO TO HELP ME THINK STRAIGHT!" Straight lines, Bars, Graphs, Architechture, Columns, Bricks, Mazes, Hedge Mazes, Maize, Corn, Crop Circles, Aliens, UFO's, Probes, Satellite Dishes, Outerspace, Mars, Mars Rovers, Labratory Tests of extraterrestrial soils, Curiosity! How cool was that landing sequence? Extraterrestial soils landing? How bout that ancient rock supposedly from Mars that landed in Antarctica? Theory of Panspermia Proven I say! Wait doesnt that make it a law? Like Gravity? Actually interestingly enough, its guesstimated, odd amalgamation of words, Guess x Estimated, anyway, guesstimated that all of earths water was supplied by giant frozen water comets that pelleted the earth. Water comets? Haley's Comet! When was it last seen? Back to Wkikipedia! Aha! 1986, only appears once every 76 years. Means the last time it was seen before that was 1910.  Bet they said twenty-three skidoo when they saw it. what does that even mean, gotta figure that out. Back to Wiki! Aha! Popularized in the 1920's but first appeared in newspapers as early as 1906! Very interesting. It apparently meant to leave in a hurry.

Playing cards, frozen mice, snake feeding, candy, television, an apartment that needs cleaning. a busy day looked back upon, a busy future ahead. And in this moment in time, nothing is done. observations made, work being completed, music and stories listened to over and over again. Reliving the same experience time after time. I've seen this show once before, but now I will see it again, and later on, again, I'm sure. Why relive, that same experience? How many times do we repeat the same moments of life. How many times have I experienced the same music on the same day of the week with the same scenery coming into view at the same moment of the song as before. Perhaps that is all we can afford to do with the present. To find those things in life that sedate our experiences between past and future. Yet we create the future by acting within the present. But not all of our time is spent towards creating the Future, that eventually, we will look back on in the Past. Perhaps we simply go through life waiting for these moments where we can interact with the future and the past... No... Yes! We watch the future fly by us into the past, and in those moments, that we all watch and witness before us, we structure this world. The seven billion of us, closing watching with eager eyes as life passes before our eyes. We let the world run from future to past, until we see something wrong with it. We are the caretakers of this passage from future to past. We are the scaffolding of time. All of us. We scrutinize this world and mold its imperfections. We have lapses in judgement, recorded in our history, but we also have a vision in our minds of the goal we wish to achieve. And it is here, in the present, that we watch for these misalignments. And we must realize, not everyone on this planet is on call at all times to tend to the Future. And so while we wait for our shift - for those moments in our day, for those moments in time - where we are allowed to shape the Future, not just ours, but everyones... we enjoy the fruits of the labors of those before us. Not all of life is meant to be the constant pursuit our futuristic goals, or the immersion of ourselves in days gone by. No. The majority of our time is meant to be spent experiencing and inspecting the world that we have created so far. Seeing and exploring as much of it as possible. Enjoying these moments of present to their fullest. By watching as much of this worlds imagined future pass by, and as we witness it right before our eyes here in the present, we play our part in changing it, before it solidifies into the concrete foundations of our worlds past. we are the masons of this world, and we can do whatever we want with it... when its infront of us, here, in the present.

Zzz... sleep. dreamy. Heavy eyelids that fight gravity all day long. Yawn, my head is in a  daze; days go by where sleep would be a happy relief. Days go by where sleep is nothing but a hindrance to me. Me myself and I, what a lonely trio, but if its a trio, is masturbation a ménage à trois? the french are always a strange people, like Madame Du Pompadour. Reminds me of my favorite french word, Pamplemousse; it means Grapefruit. My thoughts will swirl, they'll fade in and out, my focus is as lost as a magnifying glass angled too far from the sun, the collective thoughts refuse to form a point. The ramble flows on down the mountain of my mind, the salmon thoughts unable to fight the stream. I've never cared for fish, eating it that is. It's always so hard to eat as it keeps falling apart. You know what always falls apart are those dolls that only stand when you pull their string taught. I think my string broke long ago. You know piano strings hold several thousand pounds of tension. Too bad my muscles dont hold up like that. What if muscles were made out of piano string? Then I could play Beethovens symphony just by flexing certain muscles. The body as an instrument. It could happen. In fact, it already exists. There are A LOT of people out there who play the skin-flute VERY well. If a picture is worth a thousand words, why cant I buy famous art at the museum with a 1000 word essay? Talk about over inflation though. You know how many words are in existance? how much written text exists in this world? I think theres an answer for that. Hold on! Aha here we go, there's about 200+ Petabytes of written text in the world. That's 200,000 TB; 200,000,000 GB of information. (http://th.atguy.com/techCorner/powers.shtml). But it gets even more mindblowing. 1000 Petabytes becomes an Exabyte, 1000 Exabytes become a Yottabyte, and a thousand of those is a Xonabyte! More? You bet! A thousand Xonabytes is a Wekabyte and a Thousand Wekabytes? A VUNDABYTE! 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Gigabytes of information! One Sextillion Gigabytes. Why Sextillion? Cause its sexy and Vundabar. Do you know what happens when you establish 1 Sextillion Gigabytes of porn? You create the internet. Thanks Al Gore. Y'know speaking of inventions, by 2024 we'll have nano-bots. Swarms of little molecular, technological marvels flowing and whizzing their way through your systems, fighting bacteria,  killing cancer. Need to get ourselves a cure for cancer. You know what I want? Nanobots that 562will work out my muscles for me from the inside. There's your new muscle drink! MiniMusclers! Just drink the nano-bots down and they get to work on your guns. They only last so long so you gotta drink one everyday. But hey! In a months time you'll have perfectly sculpted abs and a rock hard ass. Technology will be a great thing, virtual reality, anti-gravity, hover cars, jet packs, food in pill form, smartphones implanted in the eyes and floating screens, biomechanical limbs and genetic microchips connected to the brain. 1's and 0's running through the bloodstream man and machine becoming one, the ultimate step into our evolution where all our physical limitations are surmounted by changing our bodies. Changing them at will, no longer waiting millions of years for our bodies to evolve into the forms we need them to be, we will simply make ourselves how we want, how we wish. and genetic splicing! Traveling through the stars and galaxies and solar systems and changing our genetic structure to be adaptive to these wild  environments. Humans with genetically altered lungs to breathe methane, modified internal body regulation systems to keep out bodies warm in cold environemnts that are short on sunlight.

More procrastination. Ok fine I'll start the book... Haha got ya. but seriously does it matter if it started one or two pages ago? The content still exists or, will exist... eventually. Reading between the thoughts of someone can go a long way, scratch that, reading between your own thoughts goes a long way.

The future could be the brightest most widely open expanse of adventure you could ever have in the world. 

Day dreaming is the ultimate form of procrastination. Just let your mind roam, let what IS come out unhindered let the free thoughts ramble and trample across the plains of.... what exactly? the plains of my mind? But they're always there. across the plains of pages? perhaps, through the fingertips of my fingers; as opposed to the fingerbases of my fingers; y'know, Knuckles. So here we go go go, down the tumble the line of warding through which the doors are flung open and sea, drones, and light blast through in a brilliant swilr of unimaginable intangible indescernable yet somehow neatly organized understandable level of comprehension that would take the mind a century of second by second meditative thought and examination but only in the short busts of powernaps through an aeon of time. What? I've got too many facts floating in my brain. if one hour of sleep is equivalent to two hours of being awake, shouldnt people who wake up from a coma never have to sleep again. there must be a flaw in the power storing reserves. you need more tiberium silos. The refinery will help you hold 2500 credits, silos are 500 a piece. Obelisk is a fun word.

Theres alot of interesting quotes in the world. way more than you'd think. what defines a quote? a series of words credited to a specific individual as their contribution to the literary or philisophical world of mans thoughts. my head hurts, I cant focus, im so tired, my brain refuses to work. why brain no work? brain does work all time but can make do more work than able brain hurt brain hurt.

Live your life like its a coma. Wont you tell me what I wanna. If i could sit in a silent dream state void of thinking for a mass of undetermined time... would my brian still accomplish something. The mind is really just a jukebox in a bar where you dont get to choose any of the songs and its often really annoying.

Live your life like it's a coma
Won't you tell me why we'd want to
With all the reasons you give
It's kinda hard to believe

But who am I to tell you that I've seen any reason
Why you should stay
Maybe we'd be better off without you anyway
I got a one way ticket on your last chance ride
Got a one way ticket to your suicide
Got a one way ticket and there's no way out alive

And all this crass communication that has left you in the cold
Isn't much for consolation when you feel so weak and old
But if home is where the heart is
Then there's stories to be told
No, you don't need a doctor
No one else can heal your soul

Got your mind in submission
Got your life on the line
But nobody pulled the trigger
They just stepped aside
They'll be down by the water
While you watch 'em wavin' goodbye

They'll be callin' in the morning
They'll be hanging on the phone
They'll be waitin' for an answer
But you know nobody's home
And when the bells stop ringing
It was nobody's fault but your own

There were always ample warning
There were always subtle signs
And you would have seen them coming
But we gave you too much time
And when you said that no one's listening
Why'd your best friend drop a dime
Sometimes we get so tired of waiting for a
Way to spend our time

And it's so easy to be social
It's so easy to be cool
Yeah, its easy to get hungry
When you ain't got **** to lose
And I wish that I could help you
With what you hope to find
But I'm still out here waiting
Watching reruns of my life
When you reach the point of breaking
Know it's gonna take some time
To heal those broken memories
That another man would need
Just to survive

Just stop make it stop. no more thinking. no more stress. no more life. make it pause, give it a rest. is there really any greatness awaiting me in this world. is there any real hope to the end of loneliness. My mind is tired. it's an empty sea. thoughts refuse to form, refuse to exist, refuse to be seen or even known to myself. my mind keeps secrets from me, it hides from my conscious self. Im slowly being destroyed, im slowly being eroded clean, I need some glimmer of hope. some form of worth in my life.I plead for help, I plead for an answer,I plead for a solution that will cure this cancer. Please help me feel alive, To make my life worthwhile, please deliver to me someone who can make me smile.

to share those feelings of joy, to shoulder those weights of sadness, to hold on to each other hand in hand through all of lifes madness. a sole pillar of strength to the spirit of ones will, the one who makes you're life worth the toil and till. they dont simply complete you, they make your life whole. its the most complicated puzzle piece one could ever behold.all that was missing is suddenly found and upon the nucleus of your souls your experiences are bound.

This depression is weighted, its a tonne i cant lift. this sorrow that im chained to carry is the permanent rift. between me and the world and the one I hope to find, out there somewhere the one to be mine.

My front is brave, my act is flawless, but when the struts weaken my true feelings are obvious.My insides are weeping, my mind is subject to drown in these tears of sorrow that fill my form and threaten to tear me down.so where can I turn what ship can I hail to save.Is there any real force in this world that one can plead to or beg. all my life I've desired only one thing, thats for someone to love and love me the same.

Will you be the ship that has saves me from the chaotic waters of this world? will you be the bridge that carries me to a better life? Will you be the puzzle piece that makes me whole? Will you be my wife?

Once you find that person, lifes adventure begins, and all challenges you face blow by like the wind.

Finding.

Searching and questing. Inspiration is difficult to find. when it strikes it overflows and pours from your mind. but finding the key that unlocks the gates... its a tad more difficult. Its invisible, and untouchable, it has no form for one to say it exists.

Start

The poem One Art by Elizabeth Bishop is a very complex, detached and indeed, a very sorrowful poem on the fading away of ones self. She does this through various devices and the underlying metaphorical theme of the art of losing, which is more accurately interpreted as the art of getting old, of ones mind beginning to slip away into forgetfulness. The poem ends up following a steady progression of losing objects, then things you were supposed to do, losing your family, losing your place in the world, and finally losing who you are.

In the first stanza [so many things seem filled with the intent / to be lost that their lost is no disaster.] 2-3. In this wide world there are many times when we will forget something, when we will lose a bit of information from our minds. And because it is so common, it is not viewed as anything catastrophic, its deemed normal, its not a disaster.

This is further reinforced by the next stanza. [Lose something every day. Accept the fluster / of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. / The art of losing isn't hard to master.] 4-6. Bishop goes on to explain that this is something that happens every day. You just accept it idvn passing that you lost your keys and that you've wasted some time. It's not difficult to master as it came and went so easily.

This takes a deeper turn though in the next stanza as one progresses in age. [Then practice losing farther, losing faster:] 7. This line clearly indicates that as you get older your mind and memory slips away more rapidly. It sarcastically employs the word "practice" when the whole process of becoming forgetful occurs naturally. [places, and names, and where it was you meant / to travel. None of these will bring disaster.] As is common with growing old, you'll forget where it is you are, the people you're with, and as well as what some of your unfulfilled dreams were. But you don't freak out about the fact that your mind is slipping; you don't treat it like a disaster. You merely accept it as part of the art of losing; as a part of the art of getting old.

The mind continues to slip, but its gone from losing information and memories in ones mind to losing connections with the people in the world. The fourth stanza is another stage of getting old in life. [I lost my mother's watch.] 10. The passing of family heirlooms to the next generation. [And look! my last, or / next-to-last, of three loved houses went.] 10-11. This is a tricky line to decipher. The last house, or at least the next-to-last he supposes, of three lovely houses disappears from grasp. I've taken this to mean that the character in the poem has been moved to a home for the elderly; the last home. The three loved houses described most likely indicate the house of when they were a child, when they were an adult, and the house of their now adult kids. This last house is now lost from their grasp as they are removed from their family.

The fifth stanza continues to describe how in getting old, you continue to lose your place in this world. [I lost two cities, lovely once. And, vaster, / some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. / I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster] 13-15. the character has now lost their place in these societies. It extends beyond their family. The city, the town, the community they were once a part of has now slipped away from them. indeed they feel entirely removed from the continent itself. And they miss being a part of those communities, but no one makes a fuss about being ripped from these places. It's not a disaster.

We move into the last stanza where because of their age, the character begins to lose their own personal characteristics and abilities. [ - Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture / I love)

Get To The Point....

"Get to the point, get to the point!" What a terribly close-minded phrase; insinuating that there is only one point to be made that can support an idea. Hah! It's like assuming there can only be one reason for our existence. Such nonsense. To assume that something as complex as any argument, person, way of life or just anything in general to be supported on the basis of one thing is foolishness. We can elaborate more on this later...

So what do you do....

Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes the world isn't fair. Sometimes things don't go your way, and you know exactly why, and you understand why; but it still hurts. You recognize the situation clearly, and the order of events that lead to it. You know all the factors at play, you had the foresight to see its potential for occurring. But you were hopeful that it wouldn't happen, and yet, when it did, it still hurt; even though none of it was your fault. There was nothing you could do, you did everything right, and you knew it could happen. So why does it still hurt? What do you do to move past something painful that was unavoidable? Do you turn the pain against those who caused it? Do you accept the pain and move on? But then where does the pain go? is it buried deep inside you where it festers with all your other pain? Does it get processed and transform into something else? And if so, how and what?

The pain you feel, the sorrow you experience, is not something physical. Yet its feeling is real. And surely it must go somewhere, it doesn't just disappear into nothingness. In kinship to the intangibility of feelings is the ethereal soul. It too can be seen and felt, but not physically touched. And you know it's presence to be real. Perhaps much like the food we eat, the feelings we experience are digested through our mind, body, and soul. We can verify what we're feeling with our mind, much like the tongue it can taste all the subtle variations mixed into the emotions. And just like our faces when we eat, our body personifies those sensations into a physical reaction in our body. Slowly these feelings are digested through our thoughts, our body reacting to their impression on us, and then they disappear. Perhaps, into the soul. Where there, it is processed, broken down, sorted, stored, and applied to the make-up of who we are. And it is only after we have come to terms, after our soul has finished taking it all in, that it is able to find and assemble it's place in us and we are able to continue forward with the renewed strength it gives us.

"Much like the food you eat, your feelings and experiences in life become the building blocks of who you are. These emotions you feel, these hardships you face, they are personified and made real with your body, they are taken into you and broken down with your mind, with time, they're processed through your soul, and are turned into strength that is added to your spirit." ~ Ryan Augustin.

Hmmm....

It's curious to me how I have found myself repeatedly coming back to this Board to post my various thoughts. Typically my thoughts sit within my head, and are just mulled over in my own mind. I usually don't share these random fancies of thought with others because they are so random, and often take an obtuse degree of imagination to piece together in ones mind. I figure them too far outside the box for most people to care about.

It's Wednesday and...

...yet it could just as easily be called any other day of the week. Indeed I think our day to day lives are somewhat like a game of chess. With each Black piece representing a different task or chore we must perform in our day, and each White piece representing a unit of time during our day.

To carry the metaphor further, you are presented with the numerous Black mundane day-to-day chore or "upkeep" pawns of which their are so many evenly spread across the board; these are the things such as the laundry, the dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc., but they're slow to move across the board and it can be some time before they nab a white piece, though they will eventually.

Work takes its place as the mighty Knight piece, hopping over any and all other obstacles in your life to be maintained, letting nothing stand in its way. It will contort and wind its way around any other task in your life so that it is always a priority.

Family resides in the Bishop piece. It will snake its way around many of the obstacles in your life to be a priority, but it can still be cut off from time to time by another Black piece.

The Castles would represent your social life. Many other aspects of your life have to get out of the way, or "be planned" before they can move, and due to their cardinal nature, their route must be carefully outlined ahead of time and these plans can very often be cut off or ruined by other pieces.

Next, there's the Queen. She can represent a relationship with a spouse in your life. She has limitless power to move anywhere she wishes across the board of your life at an incredible rate, her power/priority can shift in an instant; she can be a bystander, claiming only a few pieces for her own, or the most powerful force on the board laying waste to large chunks of your life and time.

Lastly, there's the King, and he represents your own free-time. The only way he ever gets to claim some of that free time is after the White piece has waded it's way across the board, been passed over by all the other Black pieces in your life, and reaches the footsteps of the King for you to nab.

And such is the the days and weeks of our life; a constant chess game where we juggle our time versus our tasks. Where we will try to save and sacrifice as much of our White pieces as need be to keep our life running smoothly in order to reach the Black King and give ourselves the free time we wish we had more of.

That concludes my thought for today.

"It is never the shallower for the calmness. The Sea is a deep, there is as much water in the Sea, in a calm, as in a storm." -John Donne, poet (1573-1631)